Bounce Back

When life is new, when day is done,

I hope you'll not stay, forever dumb.

You are the light, that's shining bright,

Despite that your teeth, come out at night.

I've been away, so I have missed her,

No not the wife, her younger sister.

She makes me feel, so young at heart,

But clears a room, with one small fart.

I marvel at the beauty of her now,

A strong resemblance to a pregnant cow.

She smiles and waves, a nice cute ass,

But interest wanes, when she's licking glass.

I saw her naked, in the bath,

But she over did it, eating grass.

To win my love, she tried her best,

But she smells like goat, I'm not impressed.

And then the wife, confessed at last,

Her sell by date, had long since past.

I wanted to be her one true valentine,

But kissing her face, was like sucking lime.

The day we wed, was a paradise,

'Til she revealed, that head full of lice.

We danced around the ballroom floor,

But she'd lost a leg, right beside the door.

We honeymooned on, a tropical isle,

And that was the last I saw her smile.

She'd said she'd love me, more than life,

I got the point, at the end of her knife.

She had been the apple, of my eyes,

Sitting swatting off, her harem of flies.

And then I cussed her, one last time,

She's had the last laugh, taking every dime...

 N.B.

I wrote this poem/ditty after hearing an item on the Mark Goodier BBC radio 2 show (covering for Steve Wright). For valentines he asked everyone to send in a two line poem. First line to be as romantic as possible, the next a counter productive one. I thought that it was a great idea to bring a humour to poetry and so created a duplo poem of my own. Cheers mark. I hope that maybe there is someone out there in web world that could offer a rematch, from a female perspective.... Let's have a poet off, comedy challenge...

Health and safety announcement.!!

N.B. I am not married (you can possibly see why, with an attitude like this...) and no-one was hurt during the writing of this poem